If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
