omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
