we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
