We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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