i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
never play flip cup with pint glasses
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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