He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
