got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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