I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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