The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I will pee on everything he values.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
