i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
