dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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