Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
