That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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