whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize