Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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