i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
