sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
