I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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