Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
