he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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