She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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