So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
