North Korea, Best Korea!
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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