he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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