Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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