why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
