I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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