The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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