I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
