No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i've created a new STD.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
