His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
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It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
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If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize