When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
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I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
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You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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