Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
