I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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