I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
