he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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