If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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