there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize