every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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