Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
