where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize