I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
