Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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