1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
