Your dad touched me again.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize
