I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
