areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
