and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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