Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
i think im in europe. pls send help
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
