Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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