stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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