He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
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you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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