I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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