i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
