so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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