I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
