My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
