You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
