I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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