no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
