I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
