This is not my ceiling
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Randomize
