don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
