his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
