At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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