someone threw a dead crab at me
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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